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The Love That Was

The Love That Was

Love is different for everyone. For some it is romantic, for others it is an idea. Some have a lifetime, while others have but a few moments. Few are lucky to encounter it in their lives and fewer still who recognize it. I recognized mine and it brought me such joy than even my tears sparkled.

I met him when I was 18 in a foreign land. I was naive and scared and was looking for some familiarity. I found that and more. I found a man who started as my mentor, became my friend and confidant and eventually my love. It was easy having a crush and being infatuated by him, but not too easy being in love. Infatuation is an idea, love is reality and hard-work. He helped me realize that. The day he asked me out, I cried because I couldn't believe that someone this kind and confident would be interested in me. He made me realize my self-worth and not to be so hard on myself.

I said ‘I love you’ to him first. He just smiled and said, ‘I know’. I learned that care, warmth and love is so fluid, it will reach him even without my words. And when he said that three letter sentence to me, I smiled too and said, ‘I know’.

We laughed and fought and made-up and just basked in each other. One day, fate decided that I learned enough and took him away from me. Too far for me to follow. I unraveled and looked at abyss in the eye. I wanted to follow him into the darkness. 

But I discovered an inner strength and fortitude. Even though I wanted to be with him, it wasn’t my time yet. I have many roads to travel yet. I loved him too much to let his memory be just that - a memory. He helped mold me to be the person I am. I have not yet loved anyone else with the same passion but everything else in my life is passionate because I live not only for myself but for him too.

My love story began and ended all too soon. But I had a beautiful year. I discovered who I am and what I want. I learned patience, and passion. I grew up and embraced myself. I learned love. All I can say to him is, thank you. I am grateful that you became a part of me and I will forever feel your hug.

Am I looking for love now? Not really. But if it finds me, i will open my arms once again and get ready for another roller-coaster ride.

- A